THE DEAL: If some miracle were to occur such that humans were to unequivocally trust all others forevermore, the sad truth is that this event would prove to be a calamity for key-makers worldwide. Car doors, front doors, bike locks, office keys, hotel card keys, passwords... all of these things are based entirely upon our lack of trust of one another as a species. (I wonder what all the key businesses make per year, put together?) Locksmiths, too, they would be out of luck. Electronic lock monitoring companies? Poof!
THE GRAND THEORY THEN: Naturally, it's obvious that these people ARE the Illuminati. They spread distrust around the world so that Monday morning, they can have the pleasure of returning to the corner drug store to make us, what? MORE KEYS.
THE SAGE ADVICE: Next time you might think twice about the guy in the swanky red vest who is oh-so-eager to make you those new keys because you lost yours on the coast in a drunken weekend playing Strip "Go-Fish" like I did when I was 8. Well, I played the game, and I wasn't on the coast, and I didn't own any keys yet, so I didn't lose them, and I was drinking milk. But you get my drift.
-Anjani
PS: I just realized that, of course, why didn't I see it before, those last two syllables in Illuminati: let's sound it out together.... "naugh....TY!"
1 comment:
Yes, sister, I am trusting that YOU hold the keys of knowledge on this most timely Matter of Universally timeless, ageless (speaking of age my God you look ama-a-a-a-zing for your botoxless age)key issue of trusting trust is trustworthy in the hands of those we mistrust, namely, those untrustworthy keymakers, heretofor known or unknown as, you got it, the "I" word, if you trust that I trust you know just whatheheck I am explaining and what I'm speaking in regards to or of. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about. I just know or at least am almost sure, or maybe unsure that all those beady eyed keymakers/locksmith types out there are probably making extra copies of "keys" (yeah, right, that's probably some code word they use for "intelligence information" they send to the big "I" word. By the way, I'm using "I" word as a secret "code word" so "they" don't get what we're "talking" about. It should work 'cuz I don't even "remember" what we're "talking" about...??)Good thing I'm the trusting sort. George W. taught me all about that niggling little word. And, Lord knows, there's a guy I trust. A-hem... So, keep up the blogging sister. The world needs more blogmeisters we can trust! In love and trust, Your Premmie
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